The Struggle to Forgive

DRAFT MIX - NOT OFFICIAL RELEASE

This is an unmastered draft mix of my song The Struggle to Forgive which will be released in the Summer of 2010 on my official debut album produced by John Ellis.

The first time I played this song live, I cried right there on stage while singing it. It caught me off guard, as it wasn't until I started singing the song that I realised that the wound was still open, still fresh. This song arose from my depths last summer at a moment of devestation. It was just after a man that I care about lost all that he was working for, his dream, his passion and his purpose, due to a person that he made the mistake of trusting. It is still hard for me to truly grasp why it affected me personally so much, but after many sleepness nights and fits of sobbing, I realised that the trauma was induced by the sudden disappearance of my ability to forgive. Suddenly, my entire foundation of understanding and compassion was shattered. The methods I had been using to get over past issues throughout my life were... void... I had no tools. No way to deal with the pain. I couldn't understand how this person could intentionally hurt, how he could seem to even thrive on it. And so, without being able to understand, I couldn't forgive. After I wrote the song, I realised quickly afterwards that the "you" in the lyrics was in fact me. It sounds a little strange, but the song is a dialogue my subconscious must have been having with myself before I really realised what the root of the hurt was.

Originally I did a demo of this song in my studio with all of its accompaniment in about 3 hours, then 2 years later I handed it over to John. He really connected with it and didn't want to change anything. So he just got me to re-sing the vocals, he rerecorded the guitar and added some bass, then he mixed it in just such a way that all the emotion seemed to come right to the surface. I was blown away by what he was able to do. Even though so little changed, I really feel this song is on a whole new plain of existence now.

Credits
Vocals, Piano, Synth, Synth Percussion: Dana-Marie Battaglia
Acoustic Guitar, Bass: John Ellis

LYRICS

you tell me that love’s all around
and though some resist it
their path is still found
and life is what we make it to be
and no one can hurt us as long as we're free

but you left out the pain and the tears
the people who hate and prey on your fears
you didn't mention the most hurtful part
that some people thrive on the despair in your heart

you tell me that others may fight
that it's up to me not to lose sight
you tell me that good always wins
that when you're armed with love
you will stay strong within

but you left out the struggle to care
that strength i must search for is so very rare
and no matter how much i do my part
someone will thrive on the despair in my heart

Comments

Add New